Blog

Thank you…

Posted by on Jul 31, 2014 in Blog | 3 comments

“I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.” Philippians 4:13-14 (NIV)

Last week, at a time when I was in my “crazy” mode trying to finish everything up for the bike ride we were hosting on Saturday, these words appeared on my computer screen as my daily devotion. Now I have heard Philippians 4:13 a million times, most of us have. But that is usually where we stop in the reciting of this verse. As I continued reading, the words “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles” seemed to be what was leaping off the page at me.

You see, I have discovered over the past 4 ½ years that this foundation work is harder than I could have ever expected. I find myself defending what we are trying to do sometimes, even when I am not asked to. This foundation has a part of my heart, after all, it’s all I have left of Ty. But I have tried (please note TRIED and continuing to TRY) over the past two years to separate the heartache of losing my child from it, and make it more about the wonderful things God is doing through it. And believe me, it is ALL Him! It is not me, Todd or Ty for that matter. It is Him! He places all the pieces together and makes everything fall into its place. I have watched Him do it and this is what makes me focus on Philippians 4:14.

A worry I often have is that people would not know just how very much we appreciate them and whatever they may be doing. So please let me say this to each and every person who has been ANY part of this journey…”It was good of you to share in our troubles”! Thank you for not ever making us go at this alone! Christ has put each and every one of you in our lives for a different purpose. So, whether you are the friends and family that have been there since the moment we got the call, the friends who invited us to dinner just weeks later and didn’t care if we were sad, or the friends who believe in the foundation like I do…thank you. For those of you we have met along the way, we thank God for bringing you into our lives. Even if we just see you once a year, you have become so special to us…thank you for all you do. There are many of you I haven’t met or don’t see at all, but you pray for us and think of us often. It means the world! I am always amazed at what people are still willing to give…to each of you, you help make many wonderful things happen in our community! Thank you! Again, we praise God for that! And I know I said I TRY not to make it about Ty, but I am his momma. I must tell you, when someone randomly remembers him or takes time out to mention him to me, I just melt. Thank you for never forgetting!! It is so good of each of you to share in our troubles!  We will forever be grateful!

God, Where are you?

Posted by on Feb 12, 2014 in Blog | 7 comments

*Note regarding this post:  I am currently reading the devotional “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa Terkeurst and this is my journal entry from Day 10.  It is a great devotional book if you are looking for one and there is currently an online group of women who are doing this together! #womenanchored

 

Verse: God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Thought:  Sometimes God’s power is shown as much in preventing things as it is in making them happen. We may never know why, but we can always know and trust the Who.

The first thing that comes to mind is of coarse Ty’s death.  Oh how I begged that 28 minutes for him to be okay.  I know many others who fell to their knees to pray as well.  But the outcome was not what any of us were praying for.  He was gone.  As most of us do in grief, I struggled.  I struggled with God and with why.  Why didn’t he save him, why did he take him, what in the world was I suppose to do now?  I truly did wonder “God, where were you in all of this”?  “Where is my miracle?”

It took a while, but I have slowly accepted losing Ty and not knowing why.  God showed me that just because I accepted it and trusted His plan, did not mean that I was okay with it.  I will never be “okay” that Ty was taken from us.  I know that I will likely never know the “Why” this side of Heaven.  And as I always say, when I get to Heaven and get to see him again, I won’t really care!  On most days I can sit back and see God’s hand in every detail of Ty’s life, from conception to death.  We got our miracle when I got pregnant with him!  He was perfect and healthy in every way that we could see.  He brought much joy to our life, and I will forever be thankful that God chose me to be his mom.  I was blessed by his life more than even I will probably ever realize.  It shouldn’t be possible for a child to teach a parent as much as he has taught me.  As I type this and think, I am actually amazed at the way God still uses Ty’s life.  He uses his life to teach me things almost daily.  I view everything differently because of Ty’s short 7 months on earth.  I love deeper, I appreciate more and I believe I am a better mother because of my heartache.  It’s amazing that so much good can come from something so bad…but that is proof of the God I serve.  And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

Thankful

Posted by on Nov 5, 2013 in Blog | 3 comments

1thes

November is here, and with that comes constant posts everywhere about what people are thankful for.  I think this is great.  It is always nice to remind ourselves of the many blessings that we have.  I HOPE that I am thankful at times other than the month of November.  I sure try to be, as I know I have far more to be thankful for than what I could ever deserve.  So many are the obvious…my Savior Jesus Christ, my husband and sweet Mason, Ty Franklin, my family, a warm home with far more in it than I will ever need, good health, wonderful people in all areas of my life…the list could go on and on.  But, I have been reminded several times this month (and it is only the 5th) to be thankful not only for all the wonderful things in life, but to be thankful whatever the circumstance may be.

This can be tricky.  Our feelings are so often based on the circumstances around us.  If things are going well, we are happy and quick to give thanks.  But when life does not go the way we plan, we are often left with feelings of frustration or sadness.  We often overlook that there could be, no there is, still so much to be thankful for.  Trust me, I am definitely guilty of this.

As I have reflected on this over the last few days, I have realized that there are several things that I AM thankful for, even though they have not turned out exactly like I may have thought that they would.  I wanted to share a few of those (in so specific order):

I am thankful for my job!  I will be honest, I am not where I thought I would be 14 years later.  But, I am so blessed to be where I am. I have a job that offers me so much freedom and that is something I need far more than I could have imagined.  I am not tied to my desk.  Though I am a working mom, I have the flexibility to be with Mason anytime he needs me.  I can also be involved in other things that touch my heart (and hopefully help others) that I could not be a part of without this flexibility.  So though I may not be rich in terms of the money I make, I am rich in flexibility and freedom, and those perks far outweigh any others to me.

I am also thankful that I have TWO wonderful boys.  God trusted me with two of his angels, and though He called one home much earlier than I would have liked, I am still thankful He choose me to be his mother.  The heartache has never been more than the blessings Ty brought to my life.  So in spite of losing him, I will always be thankful that he was entrusted to me for his time here on earth!  And boy, I am thankful that I have the promise that I WILL be with him again someday!

And being thankful for things in spite of the circumstance sure makes me thankful that God loves me “in spite of” me.  I fail every day but He loves just the same.  He is there to forgive me and extend His grace no matter what my circumstance is.  I can’t think of anything to be more thankful for than that!     

So may I challenge you as you are reflecting on things you are thankful for this month, remember to be thankful for a few things that maybe aren’t what you thought or hoped they would be, but are blessings just the same.

My First Post

Posted by on Aug 16, 2013 in Blog | 3 comments

So, this is my first official blog post.  I have thought a lot about blogging over the past several months, but was very skeptical (and still am) that anyone would want to read what I have to say.  I follow some great blogs!  I always look forward to reading them and they often inspire me and touch my heart.  Just this week I saw this quote on a blog I follow, Bits of Splendor, 

“Your heartache is someone else’s HOPE.

 If you made it through, somebody else is going to make it through.

Tell your story.”

                                                                                                           {Kim McManus}

I thought this quote was so true!  We all have a story to tell, and we never know when our story may be just what one person needed to hear.  So, I thought what better place to start than to tell our story, Ty’s story, to those of you who have not previously heard it.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above”.
James 1:17


After a near perfect pregnancy, Ty was born on May 11, 2009.  He weighed 8lb. and 9oz, and was 20 inches long.  Todd and I were first time parents, and of coarse, we fell in love immediately.  Ty continued to be at the top percentile for height and weight, and he met all his milestones just as he should.  He was a wonderful baby.  He was always happy, only fussing when he was hungry or wet.  Parenting him seemed to come natural and be quite easy!

On the morning of December 15, 2009 our day started as normal.  Ty awoke around 6am.  He played while I finished getting ready for work.  He then ate and I got him ready for the sitters.  My sister took Ty every morning (her youngest went to the same sitter, she did mornings and I picked up in the afternoon).  Amanda picked Ty up around 7:45.  I put him in the car, kissed him and told him I loved him.  I headed to work as normal.  Normal, as we knew it, ended just 4 hours later.

At 11:58 my phone rang.  I answered and heard the words “Angie, it’s Debbie.  Ty’s not breathing and I have called 911″.  I said I’m on my way and just hung up.  I stood stunned for at least a second.  I couldn’t even move.  I ran out the door of my office as my dad was coming in.  I told him quickly all that I knew and he said he would drive.  While in the car I called Todd and then my mom (whose office at the time was connected to the hospital).  I felt like I was on the phone most of the drive trying to get people headed in the right direction.  A lot of it is a blur.  I remember thinking at first he must have gotten choked on something.  At one point though I looked at my dad and said, “what if she found him”.  SIDS entered my mind immediately! 

We all arrived at the hospital before Ty.  When I saw my mom, I knew it was bad.  She is a nurse, and usually completely together during any emergency.  Not this time.  They arrived with Ty and wheeled him past me quickly.  I could barely see him for all the blankets and the oxygen on him.  We were told to wait in “the room”.  Just a few minutes later our nightmare was confirmed.  Ty was pronounced dead just 28 minutes after I received the first call.  My precious boy was now in the arms of Jesus, and Todd and I (along with many friends and family) would begin a new journey in life. 

Our journey has seen many phases over the last 3 1/2 years.  It is my greatest heartache and will always be.  At the same time, we have been blessed beyond what we could have ever imagined!  I am forever thankful that, despite the heartache, the Lord chose me to be Ty’s momma.  I am grateful for all the people the Lord has placed in our life throughout this journey.  I love that He has given us the opportunity to share our story, help children in our community and hopefully glorify Him in the things we do.  This journey is still a roller coaster at times.  Anyone reading this who has experienced grief knows that it changes and comes in waves and NEVER goes away.  So welcome to our journey.  “I will praise Him in this storm”.   

Mason’s First Birthday

Posted by on May 9, 2013 in Blog | 0 comments

mason-1st-bdayPraise the Lord….Thank you Jesus….we made it!!!!!

Happy 1st Birthday (yesterday) Mason Todd Lucas! You are loved more than you will ever know and you have blessed our lives more than we could have ever imagined!